Temper tantrums -- positive reinforcement opportunity

There are many different ways of training dogs and just as many (if not more) to raising kids.  I am always excited/pleased to find correlations between the two.  When I was training dogs, I preferred the positive reinforcement method.

Positive reinforcement involves paying attention to positive behaviors while not paying attention to the negative behaviors.  The thought process on this is even negative attention (telling child no, telling dog no etc) is still attention.  Often dogs and kids will want attention and the easiest way (or only way) they know is to misbehave.  Most bad behavior is caused by boredom and is attention seeking. 

With dogs, the way to work with this method is to praise when the dog is doing something right and ignore the bad behavior.  Teach the dog that the bad behavior will get him no attention.  To stop the bad behavior, it is as easy as redirecting the behavior.  You redirect the dog to do something you can praise him for.  For example, if your dog barks when the doorbell rings, instead of telling him to stop, redirect to something you can praise (sitting, down, stay). This gives your dog a way to handle the situation and gives him a  way to earn attention.

This same principle works with children also.  If the only way your child knows to get your attention is to yell, they will.  If it doesn't immediately work, they will escalate.  This is how temper tantrums are made.  The child learns if they yell loud enough and long enough they will get your attention or what they want because it has worked in the past.  I can't even count how many times I have seen children in a store trying to get their Mom's attention and they only time she pays attention is when they yell or do another bad behavior. 

This morning I read a report about a new way of dealing with temper tantrums.  I was pleased that the method they suggest is the same method I use with my dogs and my children.  Positive reinforcement really does work, although it is hard sometimes to ignore bad behaviors and redirect into positive ones.

Crib Bumpers

While I was pregnant, I read every book about babies and baby care I could get my hands on.  As a first time mother I was very safety conscience and worried a lot. We put locks on all the drawers and as an extra precaution placed all the cleaners way out of baby reach.

When I set up the nursery I read all I could about safety and SIDS.  I made sure there were no pillows in the crib, no blankets, no toys and no windows nearby.  However, I thought that it was odd that crib bumpers seemed to be deemed safe. It seems to me that they are just another suffocation hazard that should be kept from children.  My girls did not have bumpers on their cribs.  We had no instances of them getting limbs stuck between railings and they slept just fine.

Today I read that the American Association of Pediatrics has declared crib bumpers to be unsafe.  They have stated they increase a child's risk of SIDS.  I am very pleased they have done this. 


Below is a link to the AAP about crib safety and bedding.
http://www.healthychildren.org/english/safety-prevention/at-home/Pages/Choosing-a-Crib.aspx

Night Terrors

Around 1am this morning Charles and I were woken up by Nicole screaming.  A child crying in the middle of the night is bad enough, however, when  you know there is nothing you can do to comfort them it is even worse.

Nicole was about 3 months old when she first started waking up in the night screaming.  She would cry, hit us, and scream inconsolably for about 20 minutes.  Nothing seemed to calm her, then just as fast as it started it would end and she acted like nothing had happened.

Her pediatrician stated these episodes were night terrors and were a sleep disorder.  I immediately started researching the topic.  Night Terrors are different from a normal nightmare.  The child cannot wake up from the terror.  All our attempts to console her were making no difference because she was sound asleep.  Research states that children have no recollection of the night terror the next day, which is a blessing because they appear to be very traumatizing.

While there is no cure for the night terrors, there does seem to be ways to control them.  Consistent sleep schedules work very effectively with Nicole.  If she misses a nap or stays up late, we can pretty much guarantee she will have one either that night or the next. In more severe cases, parents have reported that waking their child shortly after they fall asleep can interrupt their sleep pattern enough to stop the night terror from happening. 

Keeping Nicole's sleep schedule consistent helps alleviate the amount of night terrors she has, but does not completely stop them.  When she is sleeping well she has about 1 night terror a month, compared to the 2 to 3 a week she was having.  When they do occur, all we can do for her is hold her and be there for her when she wakes up.

For more information:
http://www.nightterrors.org
/http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000809.htm