Chicken Fried

Everyone has a routine or item that calms them when they are stressed out.  Chocolate, wine, running, and a good book are a few.  For me, I love relaxing with a book and my mom turns to chocolate. 

It seems that you are never too young to have a relaxer.  I have recently noticed that whenever Nadia hears the song "Chicken Fried" by The Zac Brown Band she gets excited.  She dances around and if she is in the car she head bangs.  Nicole also seems to really like this song.

Today we had a long afternoon of lunch out with Grandma Judy and then shopping with Aunt Xiao Ping.  While driving home Nicole was so worn out she couldn't stop crying.  Luckily "Chicken Fried" came on the radio and she calmed right down.  Nadia started dancing about in her carseat and within a minute Nicole was sound asleep.

Tonight the girls stayed up a bit late and were watching the CMA Awards.  When The Zac Brown Band came on to sing "Georgia on my Mind" Nadia started dancing.  It seems Nadia unwinds to The Zac Brown Band.

Temper tantrums -- positive reinforcement opportunity

There are many different ways of training dogs and just as many (if not more) to raising kids.  I am always excited/pleased to find correlations between the two.  When I was training dogs, I preferred the positive reinforcement method.

Positive reinforcement involves paying attention to positive behaviors while not paying attention to the negative behaviors.  The thought process on this is even negative attention (telling child no, telling dog no etc) is still attention.  Often dogs and kids will want attention and the easiest way (or only way) they know is to misbehave.  Most bad behavior is caused by boredom and is attention seeking. 

With dogs, the way to work with this method is to praise when the dog is doing something right and ignore the bad behavior.  Teach the dog that the bad behavior will get him no attention.  To stop the bad behavior, it is as easy as redirecting the behavior.  You redirect the dog to do something you can praise him for.  For example, if your dog barks when the doorbell rings, instead of telling him to stop, redirect to something you can praise (sitting, down, stay). This gives your dog a way to handle the situation and gives him a  way to earn attention.

This same principle works with children also.  If the only way your child knows to get your attention is to yell, they will.  If it doesn't immediately work, they will escalate.  This is how temper tantrums are made.  The child learns if they yell loud enough and long enough they will get your attention or what they want because it has worked in the past.  I can't even count how many times I have seen children in a store trying to get their Mom's attention and they only time she pays attention is when they yell or do another bad behavior. 

This morning I read a report about a new way of dealing with temper tantrums.  I was pleased that the method they suggest is the same method I use with my dogs and my children.  Positive reinforcement really does work, although it is hard sometimes to ignore bad behaviors and redirect into positive ones.

Black Cat Lore

While taking my foster kittens in for their vaccinations last weekend, I noticed there was a large number of black cats available for adoption.  I was reminded that black cats are extremely hard to adopt.

The reason for this is largely based in superstition.  During the middle ages black cats were viewed as part demon and as witches familiars.  This lead to people killing cats and not keeping cats as pets, which lead to an increase in the rat populations which carried the plague.  This fear of black cats has carried over into todays society and folklore.   

While some cultures believe there is luck to be found in black cats, most of the superstitions about them are negative.  If a black cat crosses your path, it is supposed to be bad luck.  Whether the cat walks towards or away from a person means either good or bad luck.  Most people don't admit to believing that black cats are bad luck, there is a large percentage of black cats up for adoption.Black cats are notoriously hard to adopt.  This may be due to superstitions or people just not liking the look of a solid colored cat.

Our family has one fantastic black cat, Puma.  He came to us three years ago as a young foster kitten.  He had been found in parking lot where his family had left him outside of a pet store.  Originally he was to go up for adoption, however, he was such a great fit with our family we kept it.  He walks on a leash and snuggles under the blankets at night.  He is great with our daughters and dog.  He is also a good daddy kitty to all the foster kittens that come through our house.  He bathes all the babies and can almost always be found playing with them or napping with them.


Black cats are just as great as other colored cats and have no negative properties to them.  They do not bring good or bad luck, and are not carriers of disease.  Next time you are in the market for a kitty, don't skip over the loney black cats at the shelter/adoption facility.  Often they are not as friendly because they have been there for so long they are depressed.  They are great cats and deserve the same chance as all the fancy breeds.

Healthy Eating

Recently I have been reading a lot on ways to help your children live healthy lives.  Everyone seems to have a suggestion on how to improve the way your children eat, play, learn, and live.  There are all these tips floating around and it makes you wonder how people got all this information before the internet. 

Before giving birth to my daughters, I was a dog trainer (a fairly good one I think).  One of the questions I was asked a lot, besides how to I make my dog walk nicely, was how do I get my dog to eat the food I give him/her?  I would always ask what they were feeding their dog and how they fed them.  The answer was almost always the same.  They always start off well enough giving their dog dry kibble, but when the dog didn't immediately gobble it down, they started doctoring it.  Adding in wet food, human food, water and other tasty things.  They also try heating the food.   They say at first the dog ate the food but stopped after a few day.  The answer is simple I tell them, your dog is holding out for something better.  Why should he/she eat this if you will just give him something better if he/she waits.  Stop doctoring your dog's food, feed them a good kibble, and wait for him to eat it.  If he doesn't eat it when you put it down, try again at the next feeding time.  Your dog will eat when hungry, he/she is just trying to hold out for something better.

I find that a lot of the techniques and tips I gave my doggie owners are things I am doing for my daughters now.  Food however is the main thing I do differently.  Children need to be able to control part of their lives and the easiest is their food.  If parents make a huge ordeal out of eating certain things, the kids will not want to.  If you tell a kid they have to eat their veggies, they can refuse.  If you push the topic, they will always refuse.  I feel the same about the clean your plate theory.  I do not force my girls to clean their plate.  If they are hungry, they will eat.  If not, then they don't finish.  If they are told to eat everything, it becomes a challenge which they have the control over.

Nicole eating spicy chili

My daughters eat almost everything that is put in front of them.  They may not eat every last bite, but they do eat everything that we eat.  I have had a few friends ask how we got them to be such good eaters.  The only thing we can think of is we don't push food and we set a good example.  Why would a kid want to eat cauliflower if their parents don't?  Our girls are offered the exact same meal that Charles and I are eating (spicy or not).  So far the only thing Nadia and Nicole do not like to eat is cucumber.  Nadia LOVES cauliflower.  She will throw away chicken nuggets, cheese, or anything else if you hand her a crown of cauliflower.  She doesn't even want to dip it in anything.  Nicole's favorite food is green beans.  She also throws away other "kid favorite" foods for a green bean.

Play Dates

I like to think that my daughters are good at sharing.  Having a sibling constantly borrowing their toys helps ensure they are good at sharing.  We work hard at keeping them good at this skill but recently have had to stop a few scuffles over toys.  One way to help build sharing skills we have found is to bring other children over to play with their toys.

Mya and kitten

We had a play date last week with friend and fellow blogger Melissa and her daughters Mya (5yrs old) and Zoey ( 7 months old).  We had dinner together then the girls all got to play.  Mya was very interested in our foster kittens and even got to name one of them. 

The girls all played very well together and there were no squabbles over toys.  Nadia was so excited to have friends over she was bringing out toys to Mya and Zoey, although my house looked like a toy bomb exploded in it afterwards.  While Charles watched the girls, Melissa and I went through Nadia and Nicole's closet to find hand me down clothes for Zoey.  It is great to have a friend to pass on all the extra clothes to!


As Melissa was getting ready to leave, Zoey discovered Nicole's rocking duck.  While she is still too small to make it rock, she enjoyed sitting on it and exploring its duck head. 

Play dates are great for kids and parents.  They give us Mommy's time to commiserate and have a chance to speak with a fellow adult.  They also allow the kids to interact with other kids of different ages and to practice sharing.   

More bad customer service

I had another horrible experience with employees at a store today.  It is a large chain pet store and the location was one I had not been to before, and never will again.  I needed to purchase two dozen crickets for my leopard and bibron's geckos and had promised my girls a new fish for their fish tank.

It was busy inside the store and I stood in the cricket area for 10 minutes without being helped.  I was within sight of the cashiers and I know they saw me as we made eye contact.  After ten minutes, I went to an office where I found three managers and a dog trainer chatting.  I asked for assistance with crickets.  A manager told me there were two people in that department.  I informed them I had been waiting and no one was there.  She rudely told me again there was two people over there.  I demanded she help me.

One of our plecos

After she angrily packaged my crickets, I went to look at the female betta fish.  I was finally approached by an employee who did not ask if I need any help, he simply stated "Are you ok?"  All of the fish were in filthy water that had chunky debris floating in it.  It was obvious that the water hadn't been cleaned in a very long time.  I am an avid fish keeper and generally would never buy a fish kept in the conditions these fish were in. As I was checking out with what appeared to be the most "healthy" fish, the cashier told me all the fish had come in a day or two before.  It was very obvious this was not true.

I typically buy my crickets at another location of this store and don't have any problems.  It just reminds me that it is not always the company that needs to work on its customer service.  Sometimes a few bad people in a store are enough to ruin the whole experience.  I can guarantee I will never go to this location again.

Vaccinations

Nadia and Nicole seem to be overly aware of what is happening in their lives.  Starting around the age of 8 months they became fearful of going to the doctor.  They are terrified of vaccinations.  Nicole refuses to walk into the doctors office.  She is fine going to other doctors, just not her pediatrician.  Nadia will walk in but starts crying when we go back to the room. 

We have been trying to think of ways to lessen the fear of vaccinations.  They have seen me receive cortisone injections and seen Charles and I receive our flu shots.  While this seems to help a little, we are still searching for other ways to calm their fears.

Today they got to  witness our foster kittens receiving vaccinations.  The kittens needed their distemper boosters and Nadia and Nicole went along.

The kittens slept the entire ride and were very calm.  The kittens received a nose drop instead of an injection.  Even with having drops put in their noses, the kittens were calm and didn't go on the attack.  Afterwards they slept the drive home and are still asleep in their carrier.

I think it was good for Nadia and Nicole to see other species being calm about vaccinations, even if they are different from the needles they are used to.  It also lets them know that they are not being singled out for this "torture" and it happens to everyone and every animal.

Maybe the vaccine researchers can find a way to make vaccines into a nose drop for the youngsters.