Moving!!

I have finally got my new site up and running.  It is not perfect yet, but it will get there.  Please visit it at

Deserttwins.com

If you have questions please contact me at

Jennier@deserttwins.com

Tech Savvy?

I have never considered myself to be technically savvy, but I could do everything I needed to on a computer.  I needed to use many programs throughout my schooling and never had issues.  I recently decided to purchase my own domain and figured that I would be able to figure out how to set it up with a little reading. 

Boy was I wrong.  I purchased my domain and am still trying to figure out everything to get it up and running.  I have spent every toddler-free moment in front of my laptop scratching my head. I didn't want to contact my hosting provider as I was feeling stubborn and didn't want to admit I couldn't figure it out.  So, I enlisted the help of my husband and a friend.  Both of them spent hours and didn't get much further than I did.  Next I turned to my brother, Chris, who is a computer "god".  After some fiddling with things C.hris got the software working and now I am just working on tweaking the appearance and importing posts.

Now that I have ripped out clumps of hair and spent countless hours feeling dumb, I have an almost running site.  Updates to follow.

Chicken Fried

Everyone has a routine or item that calms them when they are stressed out.  Chocolate, wine, running, and a good book are a few.  For me, I love relaxing with a book and my mom turns to chocolate. 

It seems that you are never too young to have a relaxer.  I have recently noticed that whenever Nadia hears the song "Chicken Fried" by The Zac Brown Band she gets excited.  She dances around and if she is in the car she head bangs.  Nicole also seems to really like this song.

Today we had a long afternoon of lunch out with Grandma Judy and then shopping with Aunt Xiao Ping.  While driving home Nicole was so worn out she couldn't stop crying.  Luckily "Chicken Fried" came on the radio and she calmed right down.  Nadia started dancing about in her carseat and within a minute Nicole was sound asleep.

Tonight the girls stayed up a bit late and were watching the CMA Awards.  When The Zac Brown Band came on to sing "Georgia on my Mind" Nadia started dancing.  It seems Nadia unwinds to The Zac Brown Band.

Temper tantrums -- positive reinforcement opportunity

There are many different ways of training dogs and just as many (if not more) to raising kids.  I am always excited/pleased to find correlations between the two.  When I was training dogs, I preferred the positive reinforcement method.

Positive reinforcement involves paying attention to positive behaviors while not paying attention to the negative behaviors.  The thought process on this is even negative attention (telling child no, telling dog no etc) is still attention.  Often dogs and kids will want attention and the easiest way (or only way) they know is to misbehave.  Most bad behavior is caused by boredom and is attention seeking. 

With dogs, the way to work with this method is to praise when the dog is doing something right and ignore the bad behavior.  Teach the dog that the bad behavior will get him no attention.  To stop the bad behavior, it is as easy as redirecting the behavior.  You redirect the dog to do something you can praise him for.  For example, if your dog barks when the doorbell rings, instead of telling him to stop, redirect to something you can praise (sitting, down, stay). This gives your dog a way to handle the situation and gives him a  way to earn attention.

This same principle works with children also.  If the only way your child knows to get your attention is to yell, they will.  If it doesn't immediately work, they will escalate.  This is how temper tantrums are made.  The child learns if they yell loud enough and long enough they will get your attention or what they want because it has worked in the past.  I can't even count how many times I have seen children in a store trying to get their Mom's attention and they only time she pays attention is when they yell or do another bad behavior. 

This morning I read a report about a new way of dealing with temper tantrums.  I was pleased that the method they suggest is the same method I use with my dogs and my children.  Positive reinforcement really does work, although it is hard sometimes to ignore bad behaviors and redirect into positive ones.

Black Cat Lore

While taking my foster kittens in for their vaccinations last weekend, I noticed there was a large number of black cats available for adoption.  I was reminded that black cats are extremely hard to adopt.

The reason for this is largely based in superstition.  During the middle ages black cats were viewed as part demon and as witches familiars.  This lead to people killing cats and not keeping cats as pets, which lead to an increase in the rat populations which carried the plague.  This fear of black cats has carried over into todays society and folklore.   

While some cultures believe there is luck to be found in black cats, most of the superstitions about them are negative.  If a black cat crosses your path, it is supposed to be bad luck.  Whether the cat walks towards or away from a person means either good or bad luck.  Most people don't admit to believing that black cats are bad luck, there is a large percentage of black cats up for adoption.Black cats are notoriously hard to adopt.  This may be due to superstitions or people just not liking the look of a solid colored cat.

Our family has one fantastic black cat, Puma.  He came to us three years ago as a young foster kitten.  He had been found in parking lot where his family had left him outside of a pet store.  Originally he was to go up for adoption, however, he was such a great fit with our family we kept it.  He walks on a leash and snuggles under the blankets at night.  He is great with our daughters and dog.  He is also a good daddy kitty to all the foster kittens that come through our house.  He bathes all the babies and can almost always be found playing with them or napping with them.


Black cats are just as great as other colored cats and have no negative properties to them.  They do not bring good or bad luck, and are not carriers of disease.  Next time you are in the market for a kitty, don't skip over the loney black cats at the shelter/adoption facility.  Often they are not as friendly because they have been there for so long they are depressed.  They are great cats and deserve the same chance as all the fancy breeds.

Healthy Eating

Recently I have been reading a lot on ways to help your children live healthy lives.  Everyone seems to have a suggestion on how to improve the way your children eat, play, learn, and live.  There are all these tips floating around and it makes you wonder how people got all this information before the internet. 

Before giving birth to my daughters, I was a dog trainer (a fairly good one I think).  One of the questions I was asked a lot, besides how to I make my dog walk nicely, was how do I get my dog to eat the food I give him/her?  I would always ask what they were feeding their dog and how they fed them.  The answer was almost always the same.  They always start off well enough giving their dog dry kibble, but when the dog didn't immediately gobble it down, they started doctoring it.  Adding in wet food, human food, water and other tasty things.  They also try heating the food.   They say at first the dog ate the food but stopped after a few day.  The answer is simple I tell them, your dog is holding out for something better.  Why should he/she eat this if you will just give him something better if he/she waits.  Stop doctoring your dog's food, feed them a good kibble, and wait for him to eat it.  If he doesn't eat it when you put it down, try again at the next feeding time.  Your dog will eat when hungry, he/she is just trying to hold out for something better.

I find that a lot of the techniques and tips I gave my doggie owners are things I am doing for my daughters now.  Food however is the main thing I do differently.  Children need to be able to control part of their lives and the easiest is their food.  If parents make a huge ordeal out of eating certain things, the kids will not want to.  If you tell a kid they have to eat their veggies, they can refuse.  If you push the topic, they will always refuse.  I feel the same about the clean your plate theory.  I do not force my girls to clean their plate.  If they are hungry, they will eat.  If not, then they don't finish.  If they are told to eat everything, it becomes a challenge which they have the control over.

Nicole eating spicy chili

My daughters eat almost everything that is put in front of them.  They may not eat every last bite, but they do eat everything that we eat.  I have had a few friends ask how we got them to be such good eaters.  The only thing we can think of is we don't push food and we set a good example.  Why would a kid want to eat cauliflower if their parents don't?  Our girls are offered the exact same meal that Charles and I are eating (spicy or not).  So far the only thing Nadia and Nicole do not like to eat is cucumber.  Nadia LOVES cauliflower.  She will throw away chicken nuggets, cheese, or anything else if you hand her a crown of cauliflower.  She doesn't even want to dip it in anything.  Nicole's favorite food is green beans.  She also throws away other "kid favorite" foods for a green bean.

Play Dates

I like to think that my daughters are good at sharing.  Having a sibling constantly borrowing their toys helps ensure they are good at sharing.  We work hard at keeping them good at this skill but recently have had to stop a few scuffles over toys.  One way to help build sharing skills we have found is to bring other children over to play with their toys.

Mya and kitten

We had a play date last week with friend and fellow blogger Melissa and her daughters Mya (5yrs old) and Zoey ( 7 months old).  We had dinner together then the girls all got to play.  Mya was very interested in our foster kittens and even got to name one of them. 

The girls all played very well together and there were no squabbles over toys.  Nadia was so excited to have friends over she was bringing out toys to Mya and Zoey, although my house looked like a toy bomb exploded in it afterwards.  While Charles watched the girls, Melissa and I went through Nadia and Nicole's closet to find hand me down clothes for Zoey.  It is great to have a friend to pass on all the extra clothes to!


As Melissa was getting ready to leave, Zoey discovered Nicole's rocking duck.  While she is still too small to make it rock, she enjoyed sitting on it and exploring its duck head. 

Play dates are great for kids and parents.  They give us Mommy's time to commiserate and have a chance to speak with a fellow adult.  They also allow the kids to interact with other kids of different ages and to practice sharing.   

More bad customer service

I had another horrible experience with employees at a store today.  It is a large chain pet store and the location was one I had not been to before, and never will again.  I needed to purchase two dozen crickets for my leopard and bibron's geckos and had promised my girls a new fish for their fish tank.

It was busy inside the store and I stood in the cricket area for 10 minutes without being helped.  I was within sight of the cashiers and I know they saw me as we made eye contact.  After ten minutes, I went to an office where I found three managers and a dog trainer chatting.  I asked for assistance with crickets.  A manager told me there were two people in that department.  I informed them I had been waiting and no one was there.  She rudely told me again there was two people over there.  I demanded she help me.

One of our plecos

After she angrily packaged my crickets, I went to look at the female betta fish.  I was finally approached by an employee who did not ask if I need any help, he simply stated "Are you ok?"  All of the fish were in filthy water that had chunky debris floating in it.  It was obvious that the water hadn't been cleaned in a very long time.  I am an avid fish keeper and generally would never buy a fish kept in the conditions these fish were in. As I was checking out with what appeared to be the most "healthy" fish, the cashier told me all the fish had come in a day or two before.  It was very obvious this was not true.

I typically buy my crickets at another location of this store and don't have any problems.  It just reminds me that it is not always the company that needs to work on its customer service.  Sometimes a few bad people in a store are enough to ruin the whole experience.  I can guarantee I will never go to this location again.

Vaccinations

Nadia and Nicole seem to be overly aware of what is happening in their lives.  Starting around the age of 8 months they became fearful of going to the doctor.  They are terrified of vaccinations.  Nicole refuses to walk into the doctors office.  She is fine going to other doctors, just not her pediatrician.  Nadia will walk in but starts crying when we go back to the room. 

We have been trying to think of ways to lessen the fear of vaccinations.  They have seen me receive cortisone injections and seen Charles and I receive our flu shots.  While this seems to help a little, we are still searching for other ways to calm their fears.

Today they got to  witness our foster kittens receiving vaccinations.  The kittens needed their distemper boosters and Nadia and Nicole went along.

The kittens slept the entire ride and were very calm.  The kittens received a nose drop instead of an injection.  Even with having drops put in their noses, the kittens were calm and didn't go on the attack.  Afterwards they slept the drive home and are still asleep in their carrier.

I think it was good for Nadia and Nicole to see other species being calm about vaccinations, even if they are different from the needles they are used to.  It also lets them know that they are not being singled out for this "torture" and it happens to everyone and every animal.

Maybe the vaccine researchers can find a way to make vaccines into a nose drop for the youngsters.

Saving Money

Raising twins is an expensive adventure.  Food, diapers, supplies and clothes cost way more than Charles and I had planned on when we got pregnant.  This has forced us to tighten our belts and learn how to get the items we need for less.

Food is by far the biggest expense.  I have learned that I save money by not shopping in the center aisles of the grocery store.  There are a few items I still venture into the depths of the store for, but mostly I stick to the outer perimeter.  It may seem counter productive, however, when you eat healthy foods low in carbs, your body doesn't feel so hungry.  Our diet contains mostly produce and meat.  We spent about $350 a month on food before we had our daughters, and now we spend about $200.  We have also stopped going out to eat as much.  We are foodies so this was a hard thing for us.

I have also become the queen of clearance shopping.  I have to really really need a product to buy it at full price.  I don't use coupons very often because most of them are for things that I would not normally buy, therefor save me no money.

When I go clothes shopping I never go out looking for one thing in particular.  I peruse the clearance racks and see if there is anything that I need.  While I was still pregnant a fellow mother of twins gave me the best advice; she said, if it is something you will need and it's clearanced, buy it.  This is my mantra.  Today I bought two pairs of fleece pajamas for my daughters for $7.00.  They are size 5T, so it will be a few years til they can wear them, but I have ample storage space.  I saved a little over 50% on these pajamas.  I purchased Charles a pair of jeans a few weeks ago that were clearanced for $10.86, however, I had a $10 off coupon and a 20% friends and family coupon so the jeans ended up costing $0.84.  The deals are out there if you spend the time to look for them.

Cold Pills

Recently our family has been hit by a nasty cold.  Everyone became a victim of it, including Grandma Judy.  Body aches, runny nose and general malaise were the common symptom.  Most of us recovered within a few days, some of us are not quite over it yet.  The worst hit was Grandma Judy.

Nadia and Nicole both had runny noses and body aches.  VapoRub and a humidifier soothed their symptoms and helped them sleep.  Us grown ups relied on cold pills and nyquil to ease our aches and pains.  After a week of getting continually worse, Grandma Judy saw her doctor.  She was told she had a sinus infection and was given antibiotics.  Her doctor also told her that cold pills can actually increase your chances of infection.

This got me thinking, if I am unwilling to give my children these medications, why are my family and I taking them.  These medications do not cure the cold, they only mask the symptoms.  Runny noses happen to help flush your body of the virus.  If your body is unable to remove the virus in its normal manner, the virus sits around and festers and can cause a secondary infection. 

Our society has become so dependent of medications to fix everything and these medications are breeding superbugs and increasing our dependency on them.  When we were young, saline solution was a fantastic fix for congestion.  As adults, we take medication that is also used to make methamphetamines.  This makes no sense to me.

While there are times when medications make sense (if you have to function for work or childcare), usually you do not need these medicines.  Allowing your body to fight off the virus on its own will increase your immune system.  If the cold gets worse, it is best to see your doctor for antibiotics, but give your body a chance to fight it off first.

What's happened to customer service?

Nadia had a doctor appointment with an children's orthopedist yesterday.  She has been walking on her toes for a few months and her pediatrician referred her just as a precaution.  She had already seen a neurologist to rule out possible cerebral palsy.  The orthopedist seemed extremely busy/rushed, saw us an hour after our appointment time, and didn't even introduce himself to myself or Nadia.  He spoke very gruffly to me and never spoke to Nadia.  All in all he acted like I was wasting his time.

I realize that doctors have a lot on their books and tend to have emergencies that force them to run late.  I am not one of those people who get angry for waiting five minutes past my appointment.  What does anger me is being treated as a burden when I am a paying customer and being forced to wait an extremely long time with no explanation.

I have worked in the retail world before and have seen all kinds of angry customers that my job required me to be polite and smiley to.  Why is it that some doctors and other professionals have got out of the habit of providing exceptional customer service?  Many people won't return to a store they have had a bad encounter with an employee but are willing to continue to see a healthcare provider who is always late and rude.  There are many choices for a doctor, yet some doctors feel they are entitled to be rude.

I expect good customer service from any place I pay for a service.  I am more than willing to pay higher prices to receive a good experience.  I drive 40 minutes for my children's pediatrician and even further for my veterinarian.  This doesn't stop for me with healthcare, I also choose where to grocery shop, clothes shop, pet food shop and home product shop based on the experiences I have had with employees and the reactions and actions of management.

I feel it is time that our society works their way back to good customer service and bedside manner.  We all deserve to be treated well and shown our business is appreciated. 

Learning new words

Watching my daughters grow has been the greatest joy of my life.  Seeing them smile for the first time took my breath away.  Everyday they learn something new and the world is fascinating to them.  Recently they learned how to drink out of big girl cups and now refuse to drink from sippy or straw cups. 

They have been talking for awhile now.  Nadia believes food is fish.  When she is hungry she says fish and points to the pantry.  Nicole has picked up on this and calls food fish also.  They have been saying mom and dad since they were about 10 months old.

Nicole learned two things today.  She has loved giving adults hugs and often greets Grandparents and Dad with a huge hug when she sees them.  Today though she has discovered she can also give her sister hugs.  She spent quite a lot of time following Nadia around today giving her hugs.  Nadia didn't seem too impressed.

The other thing Nicole learned today was to tell us no.  She isn't terrible about it, yet.  She started telling us no if she doesn't want the "fish" we offered, or no to are you ready for bed.  During bathtime tonight Charles asked her if she could say Daddy and she said no.  After bathtime he asked her again if she could say Daddy and she told him no again. 

Scary truth of Pet Food

Today the news is reporting on chemicals in Johnson and Johnson baby shampoo that are possible carcinogens.  MSNBC story  This does worry me and makes me happy that I pay more for natural soaps and shampoos for my children.  It also makes me think of the things that are added to animal food that have been long ago been deemed unsafe.

The majority of animal foods found in supermarkets, discount stores, and large chain pet food stores contain ingredients that shouldn't be considered food or are so filled with fillers you end up feeding your animal huge quantities to get the nutrition they need.

Most pet food contains corn.  Animals do not digest corn and it is used as a filler.  All foods containing corn require you to feed large quantities as most of the food is corn.  Our rottweiler, Atrus, was on a corn free diet and ate 4 cups of food a day, he weighed 140 pounds.  Corn based foods suggested feeding him over 12 cups a day.

Another ingredient often found in pet foods are by-products, which are heads, feet, bones, blood, intestines, lungs, spleens, livers, ligaments, fat trimmings, unborn babies, and other parts not generally consumed by humans. If they only state meat by-products, you have no idea what type of animal these parts are coming from.

The dry kibble is so unpalatable, companies spray it with fat to entice the animals to eat them.  Then the problem of the fat spoiling comes into play.  To deal with this, most companies mix in BHA and BHT as preservatives.  These are known carcinogens. 

Healthy pet foods do exist, but they are not found at chain stores.  Do research on your pets food and read the ingredients.  You will be surprise what you find.  These healthy foods do cost a bit more up front, however, in the long run you feed less.  It can also help your pet live longer.

For further information:
Bornfreeusa
Natural News

Halloween

As I have said before, I have never been a huge fan of holidays.  This is the first holiday season my daughters are old enough to enjoy.  Nicole really enjoys holiday lights but gets a little nervous around all the "scary" decorations.  Nadia is bomb proof and thinks the decorations are great fun.

Last night they had their first adventure in Trick or Treating.  We first visited a friend early in the afternoon to ease them into ringing doorbells for candy. At first they both were hesitant but got the hang of it when candy made its appearance.  We visited our friend for awhile then headed to my Mom's neighborhood.

They may have learned a bad lesson when they rang Grandma's doorbell and she gave them candy.  I hope they don't think this will happen every time we visit Grandma.  We spend time visiting with Grandma and a few of her neighbors.

Nadia dressed as a parrot, her costume took a little getting used to as she dislikes things on her head.  Once she discovered everyone thought she was super cute she consented to the hat.

Nicole originally was going to be a cow but she decided that her costume was not ok.  She was then made into a kitty which she approved of.  Nicole LOVES cats and starts every day with hugging at least one of her kitties.

Both girls had a lot of fun, but were worn out afterwards.  I am glad we did the trick or treating early though as it got crowded in our neighborhood as the night wore on.  I was surprised how many older (teenage) kids were trick or treating.  I saw many high school age kids asking for candy, one even asked for money.